I am in my life: part 1

And the story begins...

Since I was a kid I've had a habit to write things on diary. Oh well, actually I prefer to call it a journal, because diary sounds too girly for me. Besides, the content is more like a journal of my daily, weekly, or monthly activities.

You want to know why I like to keep a journal? You might be laughing when you know the reason. In the very beginning, of course I was just a kid at that time, I thought that MAYBE someday I or someone else would like to write something about me, a kind of biography. And by keeping a journal, it will make it easier for me or them to compile the story. haha, what a childhood fantasy!

Alright, you'd better stop laughing now. Enough. I still have another reason, though. You know that usually, in the beginning of the year, people or companies give away agenda for promotion. A very typical book containing info, which I never find it useful, and pages for each date. (uhmm well, to tell you the truth, I have trouble in describing that kind of agenda. But I hope you're smart enough to grab my point).

Anyway, my parents usually would give their extra agendas to us. Everytime they gave me that, I just put it somewhere and then forgot that I ever had one. Then one day, I decided to make use of the new agenda that i just got. uhmmm, I think I was already in junior high at that time, if I am not mistaken.

Actually I didn't know what should I write on it. So for a start, I just wrote my exams' schedule there. One exam subject for each day. That means, one or two words per page. Later on, I started to write my exams' marks every time I got the result from the teacher. Again, only one or two words per page.

Then, I wrote a bit more than usual, not only my exams' marks but also my classmates'. Not all of them though, only those who I considered smart. Don't get me wrong, I didn't do it for competition. I just needed it to justify my laziness for not studying well: see, if the smart ones got bad marks, so what could you expect from me?! and if they got good marks, hey of course they deserved it, coz they're smart, weren't they?!!

As time goes by, I started to write more and more on my agenda every year. Mostly it's about my daily activities and nothing personal, for I keep my deepest feeling to stay in my heart for personal use only (ahem!). To date, the habit of writing a journal still continues, although the reason is no longer for that silly childhood fantasy. Maybe it becomes a need now. The need to express whatever I want to say, because I feel more comfortable to share stories in written than spoken.

But then, these past few days somehow I've been thinking about this thing: just because I remain an ordinary (or even a mediocre) person nobody knows, doesn't mean I can't have my own biography story. Since I was born narcissistic, might as well I write it myself and dedicate it to myself. haha!

So here I am, trying to make myself more open by sharing the series of events making up my life. not only the series of events, but also feelings, thoughts and ideas. That way, people can literally read me like a book. hopefully. that if people would care enough to read it. but it's alright, they're free to decide.

And now I'm ready to share the story about me and my life... or should I say, I am in my life?

==end of part one==