Wednesday, November 9, 2005

I am in my life: part 1

And the story begins...

Since I was a kid I've had a habit to write things on diary. Oh well, actually I prefer to call it a journal, because diary sounds too girly for me. Besides, the content is more like a journal of my daily, weekly, or monthly activities.

You want to know why I like to keep a journal? You might be laughing when you know the reason. In the very beginning, of course I was just a kid at that time, I thought that MAYBE someday I or someone else would like to write something about me, a kind of biography. And by keeping a journal, it will make it easier for me or them to compile the story. haha, what a childhood fantasy!

Alright, you'd better stop laughing now. Enough. I still have another reason, though. You know that usually, in the beginning of the year, people or companies give away agenda for promotion. A very typical book containing info, which I never find it useful, and pages for each date. (uhmm well, to tell you the truth, I have trouble in describing that kind of agenda. But I hope you're smart enough to grab my point).

Anyway, my parents usually would give their extra agendas to us. Everytime they gave me that, I just put it somewhere and then forgot that I ever had one. Then one day, I decided to make use of the new agenda that i just got. uhmmm, I think I was already in junior high at that time, if I am not mistaken.

Actually I didn't know what should I write on it. So for a start, I just wrote my exams' schedule there. One exam subject for each day. That means, one or two words per page. Later on, I started to write my exams' marks every time I got the result from the teacher. Again, only one or two words per page.

Then, I wrote a bit more than usual, not only my exams' marks but also my classmates'. Not all of them though, only those who I considered smart. Don't get me wrong, I didn't do it for competition. I just needed it to justify my laziness for not studying well: see, if the smart ones got bad marks, so what could you expect from me?! and if they got good marks, hey of course they deserved it, coz they're smart, weren't they?!!

As time goes by, I started to write more and more on my agenda every year. Mostly it's about my daily activities and nothing personal, for I keep my deepest feeling to stay in my heart for personal use only (ahem!). To date, the habit of writing a journal still continues, although the reason is no longer for that silly childhood fantasy. Maybe it becomes a need now. The need to express whatever I want to say, because I feel more comfortable to share stories in written than spoken.

But then, these past few days somehow I've been thinking about this thing: just because I remain an ordinary (or even a mediocre) person nobody knows, doesn't mean I can't have my own biography story. Since I was born narcissistic, might as well I write it myself and dedicate it to myself. haha!

So here I am, trying to make myself more open by sharing the series of events making up my life. not only the series of events, but also feelings, thoughts and ideas. That way, people can literally read me like a book. hopefully. that if people would care enough to read it. but it's alright, they're free to decide.

And now I'm ready to share the story about me and my life... or should I say, I am in my life?

==end of part one==

Friday, November 4, 2005

dream vs reality

semalam gue bermimpi chat dengan seorang teman (for heaven's sake, even in dream i'm chatting??!!!). dalam percakapan virtual tersebut, dengan alasan yang tidak jelas, si teman mengatakan tidak mau lagi berhubungan dengan gue. setelah itu gue pun terbangun, karena pagi sudah menjelang.

masih di pagi yang sama, gue pun login ke ym (what a ritual!!!), dan kebetulan si teman yang sempat muncul dalam mimpi juga terlihat online. gue tegurlah dia, dilanjutkan dengan obrolan2 pendek. tumben, kali ini dia hanya memberi jawaban2 singkat yang kaku dan serius. terakhir, dia tidak menanggapi omongan gue, bahkan sampai gue off dari ym.

malamnya, tiba2 si teman muncul kembali. lagi2 gue sapa dia. dan lagi2 dia hanya memberi jawaban singkat sebanyak satu kali. dua panggilan berikutnya dari gue tidak digubris sama sekali sampai dia off dari ym.

aneh ya... bukan, bukan perilaku anak itu yang aneh buat gue. gue gak terlalu peduli dengan dia. tapi kok bisa2nya mimpi itu .... ftd!

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

astrid lindgren's world

satu hal yang selalu muncul di otak gue setiap mendengar kata swedia atau stockholm adalah pippi si kaus kaki panjang!!! yup, bahkan sampai sekarang, tiap kali mendengar orang berencana pergi ke stockholm, yang selalu terbayang di otak gue adalah mencari rumahnya si pippi.

bisa jadi gue hanya terbawa obsesi masa kecil. jaman sd dulu, salah satu penulis favorit gue adalah astrid lindgren dengan berbagai macam bukunya. dan salah satu buku karyanya yang menjadi favorit gue adalah pippi si kaus kaki panjang.

nah, berawal dari situlah sampai sekarang, meskipun banyak orang yang menganggap swedia identik dengan gam, buat gue swedia adalah pippi! meski harus gue akui bahwa saat ini gue gak hafal lagi detail cerita dari tiga seri buku yang menceritakan kehidupan si pippi. yup, kalau gak salah sih ada tiga buku ya... (terbukti kan kalau gue dah gak hafal lagi ;D)

kembali pada masalah obsesi tadi, malam ini akhirnya gue menyempatkan diri untuk berselancar mencari info tentang pippi di swedia, dan sampailah gue pada situs Astrid Lindgren's World.

gak masalah, yang penting gue sudah punya target kunjungan utama kalau suatu saat dikasih rejeki untuk bermain ke swedia. tapi ternyata jarak lokasinya cukup jauh juga dari stockholm, sekitar 3 jam perjalanan bus/kereta. tapi, sekali lagi, gak masalah. harus bisa diusahakan.

satu hal yang agak sedikit mengganggu adalah, tempat itu sepertinya lebih banyak dikunjungi atau bahkan memang diciptakan untuk anak2. jadi pengunjungnya kebanyakan anak2, paling tidak keluarga beserta anak2nya. bisa dilihat dari tulisan2 dalam halaman situs tersebut, seperti, "your children will enjoy ...." atau "you can bring your children to ...."

what?!! the only child i'll take there is just this 10-year-old child stuck in my body and takes over my mind!

but it's allright though, a wise drunken old man once told me that "for us to be fully human, the child within must be embraced and expressed". jadi gak apa2lah, sekali2 memanjakan si anak kecil itu ;D ftd!